Identify Your Identity.

Last week, I went through a really hard time. I was offended to the point of tears, to the point of reliving past trauma in my mind that shut me down completely for a few days. I reached out to a few close friends to pray for me which I know helped me, but I was moved to why I was completely shut down in the first place. 

One, the human spirit is a complex thing. I, by no means can understand myself at times nor do I think in all of human history can anyone say they understand humanity completely. I know there are people who study the minds of others as professionals, and I, by no means equate myself to someone with that much knowledge on the mind, emotions, and human spirit. 

When I go through things, after I’ve suffered a bit on my own, I read the Bible. I search the Word of God for answers. I pray. I seek the Holy Spirit’s counsel, and I ask others to pray for me. Sometimes I may have a friend or two to confide in, but I use that as a last resort which probably should not be so, but it is for me as of now. 

I have learned over the years that people often have failed me and will continue too, so why trust myself to humans when I have the ear of God. I am still working through these opinions as well, because I don’t believe I’m accurate on this belief. 

Back to the trauma, I think I may have hit a nerve I didn’t know was still there. I had been through some pain and trauma in my past and believed I had forgiven and been healed from it, but with this last offense, God used it to show me that I had not truly forgiven and that I was not healed. The pain was all still there. The wound was opened and I was hurting deeply. 

Something I drew from this ordeal was that I was identifying with past hurt, pain, and deep-seated emotion as if it were a part of me, a part of my identity. I was identifying myself as a victim once more, when the Word of God says differently. 

“For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (Deuteronomy 20:4 NIV)

As I was fighting with these feelings of being victimized but in my mind knowing I am a victor, I prayed. Through prayer earlier that weak God had already mentioned to me about a stripping away that would be occurring to the body of Christ. Of course, I was thinking about other believers not myself. But this is what did occur for me, God used this hurt that the enemy meant for evil, and He turned it for good. He used this hurt to show me He was stripping away parts of me that I identified myself with. I believe He wants to do that in others too. Through this season of being at home and ceasing most of our normal activity, God is going to be stripping away things in our character that do not line up with God’s character. He wants to strip away the bad and maybe even some things we think of as good, because He wants to see His reflection in us. Like the removal of dross through the refinement of gold, He wants to strip away our impurities so His image can be seen in us. 

“And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God.” (Zechariah 13:9)

God is taking us for a journey of refinement. He is calling us to holiness and purity, living for Him and Him alone. When we spend time alone with God in prayer, we begin to see that God wants us to be holy and set apart from the world. He is returning for a bride without blemish and we need to get our act together if we are to be found in that way. 

“I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” (2 Corinthians 11:2)

So what do you identify yourself with, something about you perhaps that hasn’t changed? Ask God to search your heart, but be ready to lay whatever it is down. Lay it in his hands. Lay it at his feet. What we hold on to, really holds on to us. 

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

To break free, we must let go of what holds us captive. Don’t hold onto something just because it’s comfortable. Just because it’s what you are used to. 

It’s time to make new goals, forge new habits, and draw closer to our King, because our wedding day is coming. We will soon be presented to Christ, and if we aren’t ready we will be left behind. 

Read the story of the ten virgins that Jesus taught of in Matthew 25:1-13. 

“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.  The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

 “At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’

 “Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’

 “‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’

 “But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.

 “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’

 “But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’

 “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.”

Do some soul searching, study yourself, study your thought patterns, study your actions and reactions, and make changes as needed. Ask God to show you. Ask God to reveal things to you that need to shift and change. We cannot change ourselves, but God can. 

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

What you identify with will identify you. What I mean is think about the words you use to describe yourself. Are these things the qualities that you find in Christ? If not, bring these characteristics to Christ, bring your character to Him, ask Him to transform you into His likeness. Ask Him to help you be more like Him. 

God is giving us a new identity - but we have to willingly give up our old identity - the bad is easy to give up. The good things we enjoy are much harder to give up, but we must give these things up too. We must be willing to go through a transformation that will only work if we give up the old completely. 

Think of a caterpillar and a butterfly. They look like 2 completely different animals, but they are one and the same. A first stage and a third stage. The second stage is when all is quiet and dark, there’s a period where the transformation is happening. It’s behind closed doors. It’s where no one else can peer in and see until the day happens and the transformation is complete. 

Lock yourself up in your room to pray. Get alone with God and talk with him, cry out to Him, lay at His feet and let Him sing over you and whisper His promises to your soul. 

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

Change hurts; at least it does for me. But it’s part of the process. Remember that God is our father and He disciplines those He loves. 

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:7-11)

God is stripping away our past. He is remembering our sins no more. So we should too. We should remove those identifiers that tie us to our past and allow ourselves to live in freedom for our present and future. He is doing a new thing in us. Let us not stop the work He has begun. He will complete us. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) 

“…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6b)